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From the work · 6 min read
The pause: how one behavior changed how a leader was heard
He was a star outside the firm and a source of friction inside it. Three seconds made the difference.
Robert Paulson
Executive coach, leadership performance
He had built a regional office from zero to about thirty people, with a trusted client portfolio and the energy to keep it moving. Externally, he was one of the firm's most effective leaders.
Internally, the picture was different. In meetings with peer business leaders, many of whom had been with the firm for fifteen or thirty years, he talked over people. He defaulted to “I” instead of “we”. When challenged, he became defensive. This was not a performance issue. It was a leadership ceiling.
Ten voices, one pattern
The engagement started with a 360° baseline: ten people, interviewed independently. The CEO, his immediate and previous supervisor, six peer business leaders, a functional peer, and the leader himself.
All ten named the same theme. When ten independent voices describe the same pattern, the diagnosis is no longer an opinion, and the work becomes targetable.
“Instead of reacting, I think first and then choose how I want to respond.”
The leader, in his After-Action Review
Two goals, written down
The action plan narrowed the work to two behavioral goals. Listen more effectively: press pause before responding, ask whether it is valuable and necessary, paraphrase to clarify, and use “we” over “I”. Lead situationally: flex between telling, coaching, supporting and delegating, and match the approach to the person and the moment.
He invited five stakeholders, shared the plan with each of them, and checked in every month.
What the people around him saw
At the close, the CEO wrote his review independently: a leader who listens better, chooses his words, and controls his behavior within the firm. “Folks enjoy working with him more than ever before.”
Today he mentors emerging leaders, with internal credibility that matches his external success. The pause is not a technique. It is the space where intention gets a chance to become impact.
Written by
Robert Paulson
Executive coach for leadership performance, Long Island, New York. Ten years building the Alignment Process.
